you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
