dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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