everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
