U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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