i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
