it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
