I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
