apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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