In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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