you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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