Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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