he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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