Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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