Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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