So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
