I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
