I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i think i scared a bird with my dick
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
