Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
