The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
