If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
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he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
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On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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