you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
