so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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