He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
