I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
