i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You have to summon your inner elephant
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
