Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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