Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
