Everything about him screamed your future.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
