Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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