Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
