Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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