How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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