Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
