Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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