So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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