Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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