Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
