can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
