My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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