I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
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