I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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