I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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