why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i will never coherently bang her
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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