Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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