So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
