I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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