I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize