I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
