I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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