The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
this is an emotional support booty call
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
