So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
