pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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