I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
