I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
