So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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