We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
