Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
