On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
