Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
