I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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