Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
