I cockslap morals
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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