Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
