I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize