He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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