I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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