just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
